Changing Course

So I think that I am changing course.

I met with a bariatric nurse. She was helpful but, of course, could not tell me which surgery to do- gastric or lapband. I had thought when I started this process that I would absolutely do lapband. Now I am considering gastric.

Why?

This is such a hard process for me. I know where I want to go, the reasons to get the surgery. I know that I want it. But it is so hard to chose.
Here's why:

• I know I can lose all the weight with lapband, but people often are able to get there a lot quicker with gastric.
• It kinda weirds me out about having the lapband in me forever. 
• Fills require driving, time, tolls, gas, and co-pays. I have no idea how many I will need.
• My skin will not adjust better to one form of weight loss (I thought slower might help things spring back better... ha... not so much...). 
• I've read some blogs that make me think that some people get a little weird with lapband... almost like it becomes an eating disorder. I am not judging, I just want to not go down that path myself. 

Reasons to get gastric instead:

• Most people lose more weight with gastric
• Weight comes off faster
• Fewer follow-up visits
• No difference in skin recovery
• Seems easier. It may not be, it just seems like it is. I know the recovery is harder and such, but it seems like ... you get the right restriction from day 1 and then the mal-absorption feature for the first 18 months cuts out 1/3 of calories... it seems easier. I could be wrong. But ultimately, I want this to be easier. 

Reasons to get lapband instead:

• Slower weight-loss so fewer people will know (at this point, I'm not all about sharing this with the world. I may feel differently later on but I am where I am right now). 
• Regular contact with the bariatric center can improve long term success. 
• Can eat more foods without dumping syndrome. 
• No dumping syndrome. 
• Can eat larger quantities of food in general. 

So I am mulling. I'm going through the damn process and mulling.  I really love to think about what it will like to be thin, to be able to move. That is one reason I love my water aerobics class- I feel like I can move like I did when I was 200 lbs (I know!). I want to feel that on land again and be able to run and play and have energy to have the fun that this life is supposed to be.

And so I consider....................